


What makes you happy {now finished}

by mostlikelydefinentlymad



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: 100 percent fluff, Dancing, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Stucky - Freeform, bruce is a gentle soul, everyone knows, living together with much pining, mostly recovered Bucky Barnes, steve rogers isn't good at picking up on the obvious, this fic has a soundtrack, three years post winter soldier, tony sees everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 22:39:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4497411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlikelydefinentlymad/pseuds/mostlikelydefinentlymad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers has finally found the thing - or more so the person - that makes him feel like life is worth living again and he thought he was good at hiding it, until now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What makes you happy {now finished}

**Author's Note:**

> Soundtrack https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8o4j57gvhqzqM2LqTlL09PW4KyJOKuDr 
> 
> Bucky's shampoo https://www.paulmitchell.com/our-products/tea-tree/tea-tree-lavender-mint/lavender-mint-moisturizing-shampoo/

Running laps with Sam, sitting in on meetings on how to save the world from itself, record players and CD's, a safe haven of friends who always had his back even when they disagreed and a cozy apartment in Brooklyn - life was finally coming into view for Steve. He still spent an unhealthy amount of time at the gym tearing punching bags to shreds with his fists and envisioning Red Skull's face but progress takes time and he's not sure if he'll ever be able to move past that one.

And just like that - it all falls apart as quickly as it had came together.

 _Bucky._ Living and breathing - longer hair and metal where his left arm used to be but he'd know that face even in a crowd. The price he'd paid for his return was losing his entire identity and every memory they'd ever made together. God, Steve had been over the moon for Bucky Barnes for as long as he could remember and if he were honest with himself he was still the reason why he hadn't been able to form a lasting relationship with a woman or anyone else for that matter. He'd learned to keep everyone at arms length at all times - showed them just enough of himself that he needed to and nothing more.

As quickly as he'd reappeared in his life - he vanished. In the span of two days Bucky had managed to break down every wall Steve had spent years building. He was the exception, always had been. Somewhere in those pained blue eyes was Bucky Barnes and he would make it his personal mission to drag him back from the brink. He'd been given a second chance and hell itself couldn't tear them apart if he had anything to do with it.

 

Three long years and too many teeth gritting nightmarish hells later and Bucky was back. Steve had felt it was best to keep him close at hand just in case he were to regress - the last thing they needed was yet another reason to lock him away for life. Steve had spent well over a year of his life fighting against that - never again. Bucky had made leaps and bounds of progress as of late and so Steve found himself actually smiling and laughing more often than not. He felt as if he finally had a reason to live again and it hadn't gone unnoticed.

 

"You're smiling an awful lot lately, Rogers," Natasha observed.

Steve turned his back to her and continued peeling the orange he'd picked up. She had dropped by their apartment for what she called a social visit but Steve knew better than that. She'd wanted to check in on the two of them. Years ago she'd read every sheet in Bucky's file - she knew exactly what kind of horrors he was subjected to and she struggled to put as much trust in him as Steve did but she couldn't deny the way Steve's face lit up at the mere mention of his name. It was a far cry from the clenched jaw and ramrod straight back that she'd grown accustomed to seeing prior to Bucky's return.

"And you're spending more time with Clint as of late," he shot back - distraction was good.

"I know that trick, I invented it. You're not being slick. It's Barnes isn't it?," Natasha replied with a smirk as she picked up a piece of paper from the coffee table and flipped it over. He'd been drawing Bucky and recently at that - it was a quick sketch of Bucky asleep on the couch with one arm half lying on the floor. He hadn't drawn in years until Bucky came back into his life and she knew it wasn't mere coincidence.

"It's nice having him back is all. I mean he's been back for three years but lately he's more...," he trailed off before he told on himself. Already Natasha was side eyeing him as if she could see inside of his head, his heart.

"It's nice to see you happy," she said with a smile and genuinely meant it. Before Bucky had came back from the dead Steve had put on a brave face and tried his best to adapt but in the moments where he thought no one was looking it almost looked like he was nothing more than a shell.

"How 'bout you? How's Clint?," he asked as he took a worn down leather chair across from her. Bucky's chair - it still smelled like him. Even though it was nearly 3 in the afternoon he was still soundly sleeping in his room.

Natasha grinned and looked away quickly. "He's fine," she answered.

"I know when you're hiding something," he teased.

"Clint is okay - we're doing a recon in St Petersburg soon. Business as usual," she replied. There was a brightness in her eyes that wasn't there before - impossible to hide.

"Care to join us?"

"I'm gonna sit this one out," he replied.

"I don't know why you'd do that - not like you've got bigger more muscular priorities or anything," she said with a laugh.

 

There was a shuffling noise in Bucky's bedroom, a soft curse as he hit his knee on the bed frame.

"Sounds like someone is awake," Natasha said as she stood to go.

"You don't have to go."

"You boys need some time together. Besides Clint texted me, I'm needed," she gave him a quick peck on the cheek and made her way out the door.

Bucky shuffled into the living room in a wrinkled gray t-shirt, baggy sweats and his hair sticking up in the back. He was quite a sight.

"I heard voices, who was here?," he questioned as he poured himself a cup of coffee. He had the strangest sleep schedule.

" 'tasha, she dropped in to say hi. I think she and Clint are going on a trip," Steve replied as he craned his neck to see Bucky in the kitchen. There was something about how soft and downright gentle he looked in their small kitchen.

"She still sticking to the _we're friends and nothing more_ story?," Bucky replied as he curled up in his chair with a mug of hot coffee.

"Isn't she always?," Steve said with a laugh. 

"She's a terrible liar," Bucky replied. 

"That she is. Are you hungry? I was thinking we could order a pizza" 

"Kinda missed breakfast and lunch - I'm starving," Bucky said as he sipped his coffee. Pizza and coffee at 3pm - Steve was used to Bucky's lack of structure by now and he liked it. For that matter he liked everything that Bucky was - even the dark past that he still struggled to accept.

"Extra pepperoni and cheese with pineapple?," Steve asked as he dialed the number. The two of them were predictable when it came to food and nothing ever really changed. 

"Make sure they don't forget the pineapple - they skimped on it last time," Bucky sat his coffee cup down on the table and picked up the piece of paper Natasha had been looking at. 

It didn't slip Steve's attention but he chose to ignore it in lieu of ordering the food. 

"Didn't realize my hair had gotten so long," Bucky said when Steve ended the phone call. 

Steve rubbed the back of his neck and focused on the drawing. He wasn't normally one to get embarrassed especially over his sketches but drawing Bucky was quite personal.

" 'least you won't be cold when Fall and Winter come," Steve replied. When in a tight squeeze, cover it with humor. It was something he'd picked up from Bucky when they were younger. Not a good habit and he'd called him out on it more than once back then yet here he was doing the same. Old habits and all...

"Guess not," Bucky sat the drawing back onto the table and smiled that crooked grin that made Steve's heart beat faster.

"TMC and pizza sound good to you tonight?," Steve decided to go for a change of subject - safer.

"Pizza is fine but I promised Bruce I'd check in."  Bucky had grown close to Bruce in the past few months. The two were organized chaos but they seemed to get along and it helped Bucky to talk about his past - mostly things he'd never tell Steve. Darker sinister memories that he couldn't rid his mind of. Bruce never broke his confidence in him but it showed in the way he gently spoke to Bucky.

Steve nodded though he felt disappointed and he couldn't put his finger on why. Bucky was making progress - he was leaving the apartment now and talking to other people. That was good - right? Why did he feel forgotten?

 

"On your left!," Sam called out as he lapped Steve. Running always served to clear Steve's head and Sam never failed to make him smile. He'd been there for him even when things had taken a turn for the worst - when nearly everyone had turned their backs on him because he refused to allow Bucky to be monitored like an animal in a cage.

"Don't say it!," Steve huffed as he passed Sam.

"You win, you win. I have to rest now. Not all of us are super soldiers you know," Sam teased as he sat down under a tall tree and took a long swig of water.

"Maybe you can beat me next time - I might even let you win," Steve teased as he sat down next to him.

"Keep pushin' it Rogers," Sam said with a grin.

"Hows life treating you these days? You've been spending a lot of time indoors - if you keep that up I _will_ beat you next time."

"It's great. Better than great actually. Do you remember when you asked me what made me happy?," Steve asked.

"Man that was years ago," Sam replied. "But yeah I remember. You said you didn't know."

"I think I've found it," Steve plucked a blade of grass and ran his finger down it as he spoke.

"Yeah? I'm happy for you. What is it?," Sam questioned. He knew what it was - more like _who_ it was.

"Well you know...Bucky is opening up more and we had pizza together earlier. That's nothing new but I don't know - it makes me happy," Steve grinned as he tossed the blade of grass to the ground.

"That's what I figured. 'Tasha owes me $10," Sam said with a laugh.

"You've been betting on me? I see how it is," Steve replied with a grin. He couldn't bring himself to be irritated but was it really that obvious?

Sam shrugged his shoulders and finished off his water.

"Its been fun but I have people to counsel," he said as he stood.

Steve clapped him on the back and nodded as he walked off.

 

"How's Bruce?," Steve asked. He'd showered and vegged out with Netflix while Bucky had been away.

"He's doing good - he's thinking about taking up kick boxing. I told him it's probably not a good idea," Bucky replied as he kicked off his shoes. Black combat boots next to Nike tennis shoes - what a contrast the two of them were.

"Sure hope he listened," Steve replied as he muted the tv.

"How's Sam? Still lagging behind?," Bucky teased as he popped open a can of soda and sat in his chair.

"He's tryin', thinks he can beat me," Steve chuckled.

Bucky laughed and relaxed in his chair. Having him there in his broken in chair in the solid black clothing he still preferred, a messy pony tail and bare feet made Steve smile. The place really didn't feel like home until he stepped through the door.

" 'Tasha said something earlier that made me think," Steve mumbled nearly under his breath as he anxiously twirled a pencil.

"Uh-oh. What did she say this time? Was it about Clint? Because I think maybe their recon is more than they're letting on," Bucky replied as he pulled the hair tie out and ran his fingers through tangled hair.

"Nah not that but I agree with you. She said...that I seem happier lately."

"Maybe it's all the Netflix you've been watching. Might need to pace yourself - you finished two series in less than three weeks," Bucky rather enjoyed poking at his addiction. Even all these years later Steve still wasn't used to having that many options.

"If you say so," he replied with a laugh.

"Speaking of Netflix...they just added House of Frankenstein. Wanna watch it?," Bucky asked as he picked up the remote.

"Sure! Nat recommended it last week - she said Dracula is in it as well. Should fuel your love of blood sucking parasites," Steve cocked an eyebrow and smiled.

"Hey now - it's better than some of the things you watch."

"Don't count on it," Steve teased.

Bucky turned on the movie , flicked the lights off and sat back down in his chair before complaining that he couldn't see the tv from there.

"What did you expect? I can't angle it that way - you're gonna have to sit on the couch," Steve scooted over and made room as the movie began to play.

Halfway through it Bucky moved closer until their legs were pressed together but he didn't say anything. Steve could feel the warmth of his body heat against his own and it was all he could do to focus on the movie. Neither budged from their places on the couch until it ended. 

"You liked it didn't you?," Bucky goaded as he turned the television off. 

"Ehhhhh it wasn't as bloody as I would've expected. I'll give you that much," Steve retorted as he stood and stretched his legs. 

"Next time we're watching The Invisible Woman," Bucky countered.

"Next time _I_ choose what we watch," Steve returned.

"We'll see about that. I guess we should get to bed since it's midnight."

Steve yawned and stumbled through the dark living room toward his bedroom. He got halfway there before he heard Bucky sleepily call his name from behind him. He turned around out of instinct and Bucky took his face in both hands as he gently kissed his forehead before going to his own room and closing it behind him. Steve made his way to his bedroom but found that he couldn't sleep - not after that. What exactly did it mean?  Perhaps Natasha had been talking to Bucky. Weeks passed and neither brought it up - how about that? History repeats itself. Bucky had planted a wet kiss on Steve's lips when they were fourteen and then acted like it never happened. After that he'd thrown himself into dating.

 

Steve sat in the darkness of their apartment alone - having woken at  six am to go for a run with Sam. The clock now read eight thirty but he was too wired to go back to sleep and Bucky wouldn't wake until much later. He sat in Bucky's chair, leaned back and closed his eyes. All at once the present collided with the past. Bucky with his hair in a ponytail - wearing his uniform as his metallic arm glinted in the sunlight. He was grinning and threw one arm around Steve's shoulders as he told them they were going to the future. From there it meshed with a faded memory of them arguing at the enlistment center - the sour feeling in Steve's stomach as Bucky walked away with their dates, the eternal lingering guilt as he knew that the next time he'd see him he'd barely be alive and nearly catatonic. Bucky with his hair neatly cut and short..skidding down the pavement with metallic fingers and hate in his eyes - _he doesn't know me._ Bucky in a black suit - a funeral - screaming at him to _SHUT UP! NO I'M NOT HIM!_ throwing Steve's apartment keys at him before disappearing completely. Bucky around age seventeen on top of a roof with painful blue eyes - catching Steve's shield and throwing it back at him with all the force he could muster.

He pulled himself out of the nightmares and sat up with his chest heaving in and out. Sam was right - some things from the past were baggage that you carried with you always. _That's not who he is anymore, it's **not**._   He paced the floor restlessly until he felt like he might wear a hole in it if he kept it up. He had to get out of there - he felt like he was suffocating.

"What brings you by so early?," Natasha looked at him quizzically as she passed him a cup of coffee. He'd contemplated a trip to the gym but decided to drop by Natasha's apartment instead. He'd remembered Sam's voice in his head as he said _'You can't keep it all inside. It's always going to be there but it helps to pick up each suitcase and slowly unpack it - don't shove it under the bed and try to forget about it. It's not going anywhere.'_

Natasha's apartment was sparse -  a black leather couch, two chairs to match, a coffee table with a glass top, the darkest curtains she could find and a coffee pot. It almost seemed like she didn't spend a lot of time there.

"Do you ever remember things? Certain memories that mesh with others to create...," he sighed and took a drink of coffee. To create what? A hell that existed only in his mind?

"I try not to," Natasha replied as she curled her legs up under her on the couch. She was quite the early bird and was already fully dressed for the day with blue jeans, a red v neck t-shirt and the white gold arrow necklace she never took off.

"It's not like I...I mean I don't choose for them to come back," Steve stumbled over his words as he hugged the mug close. Its warmth was comforting.

"Is it Barnes? Because I've told you - it wasn't your fault."

"It is him, yes. Different versions of him and it feels like hes slipping away in all of them," he kept his eyes downcast as he spoke and his shoulders slumped. He felt absolutely defeated in every possible way. It was funny that others only saw Bucky as the one who needed help with his demons. Steve had enough to start an army with - he just chose to ignore them until they gave him no choice but to pay attention.

"Have you talked to Bruce? He's great at this," Natasha said as she sipped her coffee.

"He's been helping Bucky- I don't feel right intruding and I'd rather talk to you if that's okay."

"You know where to find me. I'll always listen if that's what you need," she leaned forward and gently patted his knee as if he were a child in need of reassurance.

"Thank you. I should be getting back now. It helped to talk about it," he replied as he made his way to the door.

"You're going to be okay Steve," she hugged him briefly and kissed him on the cheek as he opened the door.

He gave her a small smile and hoped she was right. Already he felt lighter just talking about it.

The rain came pouring down as he hailed a taxi.

 

He unlocked the door and stepped inside - promptly peeling off his t-shirt as he did. He was soaked to the bone and his jeans stuck to his legs as he removed his shoes. He left a small trail of wet clothing in his wake but he didn't care - he'd deal with them later. For now - a hot shower.

He stepped under the water and let it wash away the thick blanket of doubt and fear in his head. With water in his eyes he accidentally grabbed Bucky's shampoo and lathered it in his hair - didn't realize what he'd done until he was surrounded with notes of lavender and mint. He inhaled deeply - _Bucky_ and allowed his imagination to roam. Bucky with his clothes on the floor hands tangled in Steve's hair as he lavished his neck with wet kisses and gentle nibbles. Bucky with his hair tied back in a ponytail - wearing one of Steve's shirts and the black pants Steve loved so much - propped up against the door frame with a cocked eyebrow. Bucky when he first woke up - all sleepy eyes and innocence. Bucky in their small apartment in 1940 - the sweltering Summer heat - bare chest glistening with sweat as he watched Steve sketch.

This was no way to be thinking about his best friend especially when he was completely nude and just imaging Bucky's face was enough to make him come undone. _Fuck. I'm in too deep._

He decided to relieve some pressure before stepping out of the shower and all he could see behind closed eyes was baby blue eyes, a strong jawline and a ponytail coming undone under his fingertips. _Bucky._

He finished and switched the water to cold for a moment or two and silently chastised himself for still pining over Bucky Barnes - as if 50 + years wasn't long enough already.

He'd just wrapped the towel around his waist when the door swung open with a blast of cool air.

Bucky rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and blinked until Steve came into focus.

"Morning," Bucky mumbled and Steve would've thought he was imagining things if he hadn't saw Bucky's eyes skim his body from toes to the tip of his nose.

Steve coughed and looked away as he stood there awkwardly with water sliding down his body and forming a puddle on the floor. Even with taut muscles and a taller frame he still felt like the skinny kid from Brooklyn who was left at home to pine after his best friend as he went on yet another date and came back with lipstick on his cheek.

"I should get dressed," he replied awkwardly as he shifted one foot to the next.

"Yeah...um I'll let you get to it," Bucky averted his eyes and all but dashed out the door.

Steve groaned in frustration as he pulled on clean clothes. The man was nearly impossible to live with and what was he doing up at barely 11am anyways? He spent the remainder of the day at the gym as he took his confusion and frustration out on the punching bag. Bucky had mumbled something about going out - something to do with buying cereal and Bruce. Honestly it hadn't made any sense.

 

"Hows the love life?," Tony grinned widely over the table. It had been ten days since the incident and once more it hadn't been brought up. He'd accepted a lunch date with Tony so he'd have an excuse to get out of the house. Anything to keep himself from tackling Bucky and dragging him to his room until he kissed him senseless.

"What love life? I don't know if you've noticed but this is as close as I get to a date," Steve frowned and took a bite of his burger.

"I'm flattered but you might have to take that up with Pepper."

"Very funny," Steve chided as he swirled his straw around in his cup.

"No but really - how's Bucky?"

It was a sore subject for the both of them seeing as they'd came to blows - bloody fists and all - over Bucky's safety and security years ago. Tony was still of the opinion that Bucky should be under surveillance as he felt he might snap at any given moment. Ridiculous.

"Better. He's spending a lot of time with Bruce lately," he tried to hide the irritation in his voice. Good god it was completely irrational to want him all to himself everyday for the rest of their lives and yet...

"Punch any holes in the wall lately?," Tony teased as he finished his meal - steak and vegetables, so very like him.

Steve shot him a look that said he wasn't even honoring that with a response.

"Pepper still cleaning up your messes?"

"Only the big ones - you know. Small grease fires and the occasional robotic invasion," Tony replied sarcastically.  Steve actually enjoyed their biting conversation as they took shots at one another and as long as Tony avoided certain topics they were fine.

"Yeah well try to avoid my apartment if you're gonna set the city on fire again."

Tony laughed and leaned back in his seat. "That was a good one - you're getting better at this."

Steve shrugged his shoulders and checked his watch. Three o' clock, Bucky should be waking up right about now.

Tony noticed it and made his excuses to go. "Pepper needs me to fill out some paperwork, you know how she is when I keep her waiting."

"You? Paperwork?," Steve grinned as he pushed his chair under and glanced at his watch once more.

"I have to keep her on her toes," Tony replied with a wink.

"I'll see you around then. Give Pepper my love."

Tony waved over his shoulder as he walked away.

 

"Thought I'd try my hand at cooking," came a familiar voice from the kitchen.

Steve pocketed his keys and kicked his shoes off - Bucky must've gotten up earlier than he'd thought. Something smelled like burnt rice and the apartment was nearly completely filled with smoke. It was a wonder the smoke detector hadn't gone off yet. He opened two windows before heading into the kitchen. It was a disaster. Nearly every pot and pan they owned was messily tossed into the sink as the remaining three sat on the stove - one of them was nearly boiling over with what looked to be pasta. Bucky stirred the pot and stood back to smile proudly at Steve. He had flour on his shirt - scratch that. _Steve's_ shirt, tiny tendrils of hair that had escaped his ponytail fell over the side of his face and a stained up cooking mitt covered his right hand. Steve's heart beat faster in his chest and he couldn't help but grin - the kind of smile that reaches up and catches in your eyes.

"What's burning?," he asked with a laugh as he peered at the pots on the stove. Overcooked pasta, mixed vegetables that were steaming (over steaming moreso) and a pot filled with red sauce - garlic, oregano, a dash of sugar and salt.

"That damn rice in a box," Bucky mumbled as he turned off burners and strained the pasta.

"I'm not much of a rice fan anyway," Steve said as he rescued the vegetables and stirred the sauce.

"Are you hungry? I made enough for both of us," Bucky pulled out two plates without giving him time to answer. Luckily Steve hadn't finished his lunch - sure. He could eat.

"Starving," he lied.

"Good. We're having spaghetti," Bucky replied as he opened drawers and cabinets in search of clean flatware. He found the last remaining clean forks and placed them on the table.

 

Burnt rice, overcooked dinner and Bucky. _Home._

They ate their dinner in polite conversation about Pepper - is she surviving Tony and Sam who had apparently dropped by when Steve was gone and accidentally woke Bucky who didn't seem to mind.

"I'll do the dishes," Steve volunteered as he filled the sink with hot water and added a squirt of dish-washing soap.

"Let me help. I made this mess - it only makes sense," Bucky said as he grabbed a towel to dry them with.

"Dinner was good," Steve replied as he scrubbed a dish and placed it in the other side of the sink for Bucky to rinse and dry.

"Come on - you don't have to lie to me. It was awful," Bucky retorted.

"Nah. We'll avoid rice next time though," Steve laughed as he finished the last of the dishes.

" _You_ can make the rice," Bucky stacked the remaining plates in the cabinet as he spoke.

Steve laughed and drained the sink - gave the counter a quick wipe down.

"I'm gonna catch up on reading. I'm almost done with my book," Bucky said as he reached around Steve and took the wet dish rag from his hand in a way that was far too intimate for the situation. He'd pressed his back to Steve's as he reached an arm out and grabbed the rag - allowed himself to linger and it was all Steve could do to not let his head fall back on Bucky's shoulder. His heart was beating loud enough that he was sure Bucky could hear it and his skin heated in response. Bucky pulled away without a word and tossed the rag into the washing machine before retreating to his room and closing the door. This man was going to be the death of him if he kept this up.

 

Two weeks later Bucky surprised the hell out of him by suggesting they go dancing. It's the future - we can do this now, he'd said and Steve wondered if he knew what he was implying. If so he hadn't let on.

He'd expected a crowded dance hall with the modern loud music that he didn't care for. What he hadn't expected was the large open room on the bottom floor of Tony's building - he'd called it dead space but had never quite gotten around to doing anything with it - and soft lighting with a record player in the corner.

"I never said we were going _out_ dancing," Bucky smirked as he placed a record on the player. Doris Day filled the air as she crooned 

 _Again, this couldn't happen again_  
_This is that once in a lifetime_  
_This is the thrill divine_

Bucky took his hand and pulled him close as they began to sway.

 _What's more, this never happened before_  
_Though I have prayed for a lifetime_  
_That such as you would suddenly be mine_

Steve rested his head on Bucky's shoulder and breathed him in - lavender, mint and Bucky. 

 _Mine to hold as I'm holding you now and yet never so near_  
_Mine to have when the now and the here disappear_  
_What matters, dear, for_

Bucky squeezed Steve's hand with a cold metallic one that Steve honestly didn't mind - never had.

 _When this doesn't happen again_  
_We'll have this moment forever_  
_But never, never again (never, never)_  
_We'll have this moment forever_  
_But never, never again (never, never)_

Steve could feel his pulse racing as the song neared its end. Never in his life had he been so wound up for another person. Sure he'd been crazy over Peggy Carter and she'd felt the same but he could never factor that into a reason for living.

Bucky gently pulled away and put on another song. Nat King Cole - I Love You for Sentimental Reasons.

The song choices were quite deliberate, Steve thought to himself. Perhaps Bucky was expressing in song what he couldn't say out loud.

 _I love you for sentimental reasons_  
_I hope you do believe me_  
_I'll give you my heart_

Bucky wrapped his hands around Steve's once more as he led.

 _I love you and you alone were meant for me_  
_Please give your loving heart to me_  
_And say we'll never part_  
  
_I think of you every morning_  
_Dream of you every night_  
_Darling, I'm never lonely_  
_Whenever you are in sight_

Steve tugged Bucky closer - as close as he could possibly get. They were chest to chest and close enough that he could feel Bucky's breath hot on his neck. If he were to die right now - in this moment - he'd have no regrets. 

 _I love you for sentimental reasons_  
_I hope you do believe me_  
_I've given you my heart_

Bucky turned his head and gently pressed his cheek against Steve's. Steve couldn't take it anymore - he took Bucky's face in warm hands and kissed him - slid his tongue into Bucky's mouth and barely choked back a moan. He expected some sort of protest on the other end but there was nothing. Bucky dragged him in until they were hip to hip and there was no mistaking his feelings as he deepened the kiss. 

 _I love you for sentimental reasons_  
_I hope you do believe me_  
_I've given you my heart_

Several heated kisses later they broke apart with foreheads resting against one another as they realized the song had ended. There was no need to say it - _I've been in love with you my entire life - even when the whole world said I should give up on you._

Steve bit his lip and ground his hips against Bucky's who gave back as much as he got.

"Home?," he whispered as he traced Bucky's lip with his tongue.

Bucky groaned, "Too far."

"Here?," Steve questioned. They wouldn't be disturbed here as no one made it to this area- there was no reason to.

Bucky nodded and pulled Steve's shirt over his head. He ran his fingers over a muscled chest and nibbled the side of Steve's neck. That particular movement made his head fall back - noted and saved for later.

Steve frantically tugged Bucky's shirt off and pressed him against the floor. God he'd never wanted someone so bad - he could feel his entire body pulsing with need.

"You....," he broke off as Bucky began to unbutton his jeans and it felt agonizingly slow. "You sure you want-"

Bucky interrupted him with a heated kiss that left him panting. So that was a yes.

 

They lay sated on the cool hardwood floor with hands intertwined. Steve pressed a kiss to Bucky's left arm - he couldn't feel it but it that was no matter and smiled.

"Why are you smiling?," Bucky questioned as he tilted his head to easier see him.

"I'm just...I think I've found what makes me happy," he grinned widely as he met Bucky's eyes.

"Now don't get all sappy with me," Bucky said with a grin as he gave Steve a quick kiss.

"Says the person who tells me they love me with a song," Steve laughed and squeezed Bucky's hand.

"Yeah well it wasn't like you were ever gonna figure it out on your own," Bucky teased.

"Maybe if you weren't so vague I might have."

"Stevie I've done everything short of hiring a plane to write it in the sky," Bucky chided.

"Sometimes a man needs it to be completely obvious," Steve retorted.

" 'sides I always figured you saw me as nothing more than a friend or a brother," he continued.

Bucky laughed loudly then and held his side as if Steve had told him the best joke he'd ever heard.

"I don't think brothers are supposed to think the kind of things I thought about you," Bucky replied with a wink.

Steve shook his head and wondered exactly how he'd managed to miss _this._

"We should head home," Steve said with a sigh. They couldn't stay here forever. 

"Invisible Woman on Netflix and we pick this back up when we get there," Bucky licked his lips and gave Steve a look that said he knew exactly what he was doing.

Steve growled under his breath and gently bit Bucky's neck. "You keep doing that we'll never get out of here."

Bucky laughed and pulled his clothes on as Steve did the same. They spent half the night stretched out on the couch together with thighs and chests pressed together and the other half of the night tangled in Steve's bedsheets where they'd woken the next morning and decided that one night wasn't enough and Steve's bed was more than big enough for the two of them to share.

 

"Soooo," Tony drawled out as he picked up his drink. He'd called Steve and requested a lunch date - said he had a matter of up most importance to discuss and it was top secret so he had to come along.

Steve cocked an eyebrow and waited.

"I have video cameras installed in every floor, every room," Tony continued and pinned Steve with his gaze. _Oh god._

Steve's mouth dropped open as he blushed a deep red that reached all the way up to his ears.

"I hear congratulations are in order then," Tony said with a grin and a wink. 

Steve coughed and nodded. 

"Pepper can finally stop pestering me about the two of you now." 

Steve gave him a look of confusion. 

"I'm not following," he said. 

"She's been saying for months now that I should send the two of you off on a "recon mission". I mean it seemed to work for Natasha and Clint," he grinned devilishly. 

Steve's mouth hung open and he snapped it closed. He knew it. 

"Guess there's no need for that now," he said as he averted his eyes and took a long drink of his soda. 

"Sam owes me $20, he said the two of you would never get around to putting it all out in the open," Tony smirked and leaned back in his chair. 

Steve groaned and covered his face with his hands. Apparently he was the last to know. 

"I'm happy for you. Just...be careful," Tony replied with a serious tone. 

Steve nodded and per usual - checked his watch. Two forty five. _Bucky._

"Yeah - Pepper is expecting me," Tony stood and pushed his chair under.

"Don't go telling everyone," Steve said to Tony's back as he walked away.

"Don't need to!," Tony grinned as turned a corner.

 

He arrived at home to find that Bucky was still sleeping. He quietly crept into [now] _their_ bedroom and tossed his shirt on the floor as he crawled under the covers.

"Bucky," he whispered as he tucked a hair behind Bucky's ear. He swatted at his hand and mumbled.

Steve snuggled up close to him and threw a leg over Bucky's. "Come on - I don't wanna burn rice by myself." 

"No rice," Bucky mumbled in his sleep as he threw a heavy arm over Steve's chest. 

"But it's the kind in the box. I know how much you like it," Steve grinned to himself as he spoke.

Bucky groaned and pressed his face into the pillow.

"I can't get it good and crispy like you can. You gotta help me," Steve murmured in Bucky's ear. In an instant Bucky grabbed him with strong arms and pinned him to the bed as he propped up his elbows on either side of Steve's head.

"Keep taunting me like that Stevie and we'll see what happens," he replied as he leaned down and sucked on Steve's bottom lip.

Steve thrust his hips against Bucky's in response. Dinner was promptly forgotten. 

 

Natasha and Clint stopped by their apartment the next day and were all smiles.

"Did he have to break out the Sharpies and poster board to make it obvious?," Natasha badgered with a grin.

"You're one to talk. Heard all about that re-con mission," Bucky razzed as he took Steve's hand in his own.

Clint looked momentarily shocked as he looked from one to the other.

"Tony told us," Steve beamed.

Clint shook his head, "That man can't keep anything to himself."

"In all fairness I think we all already knew," Steve countered as he brushed the back of Bucky's hand with his thumb.

Clint rolled his eyes and gave Natasha a look.

"Couldn't hide it forever Barton," she gave him a flirty look and put her hand on his thigh.

Steve grinned at the two of them - they were happy and it showed.

" 'think you owe me some double dates," he turned to Bucky and winked.

"I know this brunette that you might like - has some emotional baggage though," Bucky goaded as he nudged Steve's knee with his own.

"I suppose I can give 'um a try," he tossed a wink at Bucky.

"We should head out. I promised 'tasha a real date. I'm not so sure that freeing fifteen hostages in St Petersburg then following it up with fast food counts," Clint said as he took Natasha's hand and led her to the door.

"We're going to a restaurant with a real menu this time," she taunted as they made their way out the door.

"Might take you up on that double date sometime," Clint said as Natasha dragged him away.

 

They spent the rest of the night dancing with the moon illuminating the living room - Johnny Mathis "Chances Are".

 _In the magic of moonlight when I sigh, "Hold me close, dear"  
Chances are you believe the stars that fill the skies are in my eyes_  

 _Guess you feel you'll always be_  
_the one and only one for me_  
 _and if you think you could,_  
 _well, chances are your chances are awfully good_

Yes - Steve had finally found what made him happy.


End file.
